Selfish women, hedonists, old spinsters, or just happy ladies – i.e. who are single women?
February 14th is a date we all know all too well. We can love it or hate it, but it’s hard to forget that it’s Valentine’s Day. Not everyone knows, however, that the next day is also a holiday that is relevant to many of us. February 15th is Singles’ Day, commonly known as Anti-Valentine’s Day. Does that mean that by deciding to live alone we’re also making the decision to live without love? Of course not!
‘Single’ has many names
It’s so hard to believe that in the 21st century we’re still facing a stereotype that a person who lives alone must be troubled by some sort of issues. And it’s not even about your parents rolling their eyes or the awkward questions posed by your grandma who’s afraid that she won’t live to see grandchildren. Even an innocent getaway with friends may turn into an attempt to make you come over to the “good side” or to ask uncomfortable questions about your sexual orientation. At the same, there are 7.5 million singles living in Poland, which means that every 5th Pole lives alone [1]. That’s a lot of people, isn’t it?
A selfish woman, hedonist, old spinster – forget about it!
First of all, there’s not a single single. Everyone has their own reasons as to why they’ve decided to live alone. All you gotta do is peek at the simple Wikipedia definition: “Terminology for singleness varies, usually based on gender, language, and country. Generally singles can be categorized by the following terms: never married, separated, divorced, and widowed.” As you can see, it’s difficult to just encapsulate it all within the classic “old spinster”. Being single doesn’t have to entail selfishness or the incessant need to party, either. And even if it does, it’s your own conscious, personal choice and frankly, nobody else’s business.
A single vs. stereotypes
There are two major stereotypes of singles. The first one represents the single person as a sad loner who spends most of their time in bed, watching TV series, eating ice cream straight out of the box and petting the cat that’s going to be their only support when they grow old (as long as it doesn’t eat them). The second one goes to the other extreme – it portrays the single as a wild party person who doesn’t care about tomorrow, loves to indulge in all kinds of substances, and easily makes new friends, but mostly with benefits. Statistics confirm that neither one of these portrayals have anything to do with reality.
Singles are mostly women who live in big cities and have chosen self-growth and their career. They are usually well educated, have good jobs, and a large group of friends. Instead of weekend partying they prefer to take a road trip with their friends or a workshop to help them develop their new passions. Besides, they’re not always opposed to getting into a relationship, but they don’t want to force it. They’re just waiting for the right moment.
Amazing single life
There’s even a special term that has been conceived to describe singles who have made personal development and self expression their priority, and who reject the idea of having to be in a relationship. Quirkyalone are people who are idealists and individualists. They often believe that real love will eventually find them on its own, that’s why they’re not interested in half measures or getting into just any relationship to save them from loneliness. Instead they devote their time to working on themselves, spending time creatively, traveling, and hanging out with friends who are the most important part of their lives.
I’m single and proud of it
As we can see, being single doesn’t have to mean shutting yourself to love. It can just be a stage in our life until we meet that one and only person that we’re destined to be with. Before this happens though, it’s worth working on loving yourself and accepting living alone. Do you know about something called SingleRing? It’s a baby blue ring that signifies a proud single. In order to buy it, you often have to submit a signed declaration stating that you’ll be with yourself for better and for worse. Sounds familiar? However, SingleRing is not just a parody of an engagement. Most of all, it’s the manifestation of a lifestyle and a clear message – I am single and happy about it.
Long live self love!
This is what we wish you on Singles’ Day – lots of self acceptance and healthy selfishness, because just a bit of it has never hurt anyone! Remember that at Obsessive you don’t have to sign anything, but you’ll surely find something here that will help you feel like the proud and beautiful single you are. A sexy teddy or lace set? Give yourself a special gift on Singles’ Day and celebrate it the way you like, together or alone. Don’t let anyone tell you that February 15th is Anti-Valentine’s Day and that there’s no room for love on that day. There’s always room to love yourself.
[1] https://sbc.org.pl/Content/233560/doktorat3714.pdf